SirianaSims

Mind The Gap

“Hailey, can you start on the cookies?”

“Sure, mom.”

My mother’s movements were precise and efficient as she and Hailey moved around the kitchen like choreographed dancers, measuring, stirring, and chopping.

“Mom, the table is done. Anything else I can do?”

She shook her head. “No thanks, sweetie, I think Hailey and I can take it from here.” My mother knew better than to let me cook anything more advanced than cup noodles.

Hailey turned to me.

“Actually, could you go check on Grayson? It sounds like he’s still awake.”

I went to the living room and picked up my wiggly nephew. He cooed happily when he saw me.

“Hi, Gray-Gray! Look, it’s your favourite aunt! At least until your grandpa brings aunt Ivy back from the airport.”

The living room was littered with toys and baby stuff. Hailey and her husband Mark lived just around the corner, and spent almost as much time here as they did at their own house.

On the coffee table, yet another gossip magazine speculated wildly about Paul Romeo’s new fling. The picture of us outside his hotel had been everywhere for the past two weeks, and it had almost stopped bothering me every time I saw it. The writings still hurt, though.

“You should be glad you can’t read, Gray-Gray. You’re already busy eating and pooping and sleeping, you don’t need to also worry about silly people calling you a gold-digger or saying that you’re just a child playing dress-up.”

He giggled and blew a spit bubble, and I felt a surge of affection for him.

“I know, right? Some of them even say nasty things about your uncle Paul too. Or, well – he’s not really your uncle, but maybe some day…”

I paused. I hadn’t really spent much time thinking about what ‘some day’ would look like. Would Paul ever want to get married? Have kids? Most people his age had a family by now. What if he wanted kids soon? We had never talked about it.

Grayson sleepily tried to grab a tiny fistful of my hair. I moved it out of reach and began rocking him again.

“You’re a good listener, Gray-Gray,” I muttered softly. “And very cute. But you need to sleep so you won’t be cranky during dinner.”

I rocked him for a while. Outside, the powdery snowflakes danced in the wind while I listened to his breathing, deep and steady. When I was sure he was asleep, I put him in his crib and flopped down on the couch to check my phone. No new texts.

I ignored the angry red dots telling me I had 99+ notifications on most of my social media. At least they didn’t have my phone number. My friends and family knew to only text or call me directly by now.

My phone vibrated in my hand, and I checked it eagerly. Marten wished me a happy Winterfest.

I reacted to his last message with a heart and put the phone down. I liked Marten, we sometimes played games online when he wasn’t too busy with his studies. I was glad that he still wanted to be my friend even though he probably had something else in mind when he asked for my number, but it was Paul I really wanted to hear from.

Grayson was still sleeping peacefully, and I could hear my mother and Hailey talking and laughing, their voices mixing with the clatter of pots and pans coming from the kitchen. The delicious smells from the food and the ever-present scent of pine enveloped me and I was almost drifting off when my phone vibrated again.

This time it was Paul, he’d be calling in ten minutes or so.

I leapt up from the couch to put on something warmer. I wasn’t really supposed to go outside alone, but I didn’t feel like talking to him around my family, and I doubted any paparazzi would be spending Winterfest freezing their butts off in case I left the house.

---

The fresh snow glittered in the cold sunshine and the only sound was the crunch under my boots. I followed the familiar path towards my favourite spot.

I wished I could feel as calm as the lake looked. The media frenzy and hate-mail had been exactly like Paul predicted. A few days after our photo went public I simply stopped trying to stem the tide of messages, good and bad, flooding in on every single social media account I had.

I was jolted back to the present when my phone finally went off.

“Hey, gorgeous. Happy Winterfest. How’s Copperdale?”

“Cold! It’s nice to be back, I haven’t seen my family in months. But I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Hopefully, we can celebrate Winterfest together next year. Maybe even in Copperdale. That is, if your family still wants to meet me after all of this.”

“My parents had a few questions, but they have no problem with you. They mostly worry about the media.”

Paul sighed wearily. “Yeah, I’ve been worried about that too. I’ve sent my lawyers after a few people already. How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine, Paul. I’m used to getting a few nasty messages on occasion, it’s really not that different.”

“Are you sure, Julia? And I mean really sure? Some of these are pretty harsh.” His voice was filled with concern and I wished I could just fall apart in his arms. But despite what those articles were saying, I was not a child, and if Paul could handle this, so could I.

“Oh yeah, it’s fine. I try not to read anything, they’ll get bored eventually, right? For now, I’m just counting the days until you pick me up from the airport for New Year’s.”

“Me too. I can’t wait to see you, and you’ll finally get to meet some of my friends. I’ve already started outlining a pretty elaborate menu.”

“Sounds very fancy. I’m glad I made a new dress just for this party.”

“You made a dress?”

“I did. And it’s very sexy.”

He chuckled and lowered his voice.

“Please, Julia, don’t do this to me, I won’t see you for another week.”

“Sorry, not sorry. I spent hours getting it to fit juuust right.”

“… I’m changing the subject before I get in trouble. What are your plans for today, then?”

“My oldest sister is here with her husband and my nephew, my dad is picking up my other sister, and my brothers are up to their usual mischief somewhere. We’re having a big family dinner tonight.”

“Sounds cozy. I’ll be at my uncle’s, it’s a huge family thing every year. Tartosans will jump at any excuse to gather everyone around food. But I’d love to try a snowy Winterfest some day. Maybe you can teach me how to build a snowman.”

“Just be warned, I take my snowman building very seriously.”

I could hear the smile in his voice. “Noted. I… hold on, my mother is here.”

A woman’s voice said something in the background.

“My mother demands that I tell you that she looks forward to meeting you some day, but we have to go now so we won’t be late.” He lowered his voice to a stage whisper. “But really, she just wants to arrive first so she can snag her favourite chair…”

“Paul!” His mother sounded indignant, but then she laughed.

“Sorry, mum, but I’m on to you. Enjoy your Winterfest, Julia, I can’t wait to see you again. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

---

I loved my apartment in San Myshuno, but being back in my parent’s house still felt like coming home. There was something comforting about Winterfest Eve being the same as always, especially since my life had changed so dramatically in the last year. The same familiar food, the same old Winterfest plates, my brothers kicking me under the table and blaming each other as usual – everything just felt right. The only real change compared to last year was baby Grayson, and he was more than welcome.

Ivy excitedly told us about her dance studio and Windenburg, and I talked about my life in San Myshuno, my work, and my new friends. I tried to avoid talking about the whole paparazzi thing, but of course my mother and Ivy wanted to know more about Paul. I told them the basics, but the secrecy around our relationship had almost become second nature, and it felt wrong, too intimate, to tell them any details.

I also left out the fact that I hadn’t been able to go near any of my channels since the news broke. I felt pretty confident that it would be fine, haters also generated traffic, and at least for now, I was still making more than back when I could post regularly.

At the other end of the table, my father tried to convince Grayson to taste some mashed potato, and I couldn’t help but sneaking glances at Hailey and Mark. Maybe it was because she was the oldest, or maybe it was just because she looked so much like our mother, but Hailey always had that ‘mom energy’. They’d been married for two years now, and it already felt like Mark had always been a part of the family, joking around with my brothers and fitting in seamlessly, like he was meant to be here.

“Julia? Anyone home? I asked how you’re managing. You seem a bit off. Are you sure all the media bullshit isn’t getting to you?”

“Ivy, I’m doing fine. I might not have been well known, but I’ve been streaming for years, I’m used to random people having opinions on me and the things I do. And Paul is taking good care of me.”

Ivy still looked sceptical. She always knew me better than anyone else.

“Julia… You’re an adult, we trust you to make your own decisions, and Paul sounds like a good man, but I don’t want you getting in over your head. Please promise that you’ll let us know if you need any help. Anything at all.”

“I promise, mom.”

---

“Mr. Romeo? Lee Thompson is at the gate.”

“Thanks, Jeff. Ask him if he brought any new tunes for the party.”

“Mr. Thompson, any fresh melodies for tonight?”

“Only if Paul promises not to sing along this time!”

“He’s brought harsh truths, Mr. Romeo.”

“Ouch. We better let him in, Jeff. And tell him my singing’s improved!”

---

Paul turned from the intercom, still chuckling, and pulled me close.

“Now, remember,” he urged softly, “You’re just meeting my friends. There’s no need to be nervous, they’re very nice and they’ll adore you.”

“I’ll try. It’s just that all your friends are major celebrities.”

He smiled and tucked a few stray hairs behind my ear.

“They’re also just people. There’s nothing to worry about. We’re going to have fun.”

I nodded and kissed him, trying to ignore the way my heart felt ready to leap out of my chest. I wasn’t even sure what I worried about the most, the fact that these people were famous, or that they were Paul’s closest friends. What would they think of him being with someone like me?

Lee Thompson exuded the same intensity he brought to his music. He’d composed some of the most memorable scores of the last two decades, including the original Llama Man theme tune and the new version for the animated series. He moved gracefully, like a dancer, and his handshake was surprisingly gentle. I thanked him for more or less writing the soundtrack to my entire childhood, realising only too late what I was implying, but he was delighted and didn’t seem to notice.

I’d barely recovered from my embarrassment before Jeff announced the next arrivals, and Lee sauntered off to open the champagne.

I clung to Paul’s arm as Sierra Moss and her husband, Dave Richardson, entered. Somehow, I even managed to mumble a polite greeting.

Dave’s smile was warm and welcoming. “It’s good to meet you. Paul has told us so much about you.”

Sierra laughed. “In fact, he never shuts up about you.”

Meeting Sierra Moss felt surreal. I had seen all of her movies, I even had a poster of her in Cop & Llama on my walls at home. Well, Dave was technically on the poster as well, but the llama costume meant that he wasn’t as instantly recognisable as Sierra, especially since he’d stayed on the other side of the cameras since the series ended. Sierra, on the other hand, had starred in dozens of movies and was a household name.

I straightened my back and desperately hoped that I looked like someone who was both a proper adult and perfectly chill about the fact that my childhood idol was standing in front of me and teasing my boyfriend about thinking he could keep me a secret for long.

---

The food was exquisite, Paul had been in the kitchen since he picked me up from the airport that morning. I had offered to help at first, but after despairing at my knife skills, he’d sat me on a chair with a glass of wine and begged me to supervise from afar. I guess he wasn’t joking about Tartosans taking their food seriously.

I’d been seated between Paul and Lee Thompson. Lee was very entertaining company. We’d discussed his music for a bit, I had told him my favourites, and he had even complimented my dress. I was just beginning to relax a little when Sierra’s raised voice grabbed our attention.

“But you’re not even auditioning, Paul! You’re extremely talented, but you keep limiting yourself like this. You should be headlining!”

“And I’m telling you, Sierra, please leave it alone. I like what I’m doing.”

Next to me, Lee sighed.

“Here they go again,” he mumbled, and emptied his champagne flute.

“Paul, I’m not one of your nagging exes, I’m saying this because I care. And you will never hear me admit this in public, but you are a better actor than I am – if I could break out, so can you. You just need to actually try.”

I couldn’t help myself, her mention of Paul’s exes made me instantly defensive.

“Excuse me, Sierra, but if Paul wants to stick to voice acting, why is that a problem? He’s great at it.”

Sierra turned to me, her tone insultingly patient, like she was speaking to a child.

“With all due respect, Julia, you are very young and you have no idea how the industry works. Frankly, you barely know Paul. He could be doing so much better -“

She stopped abruptly. “I mean, in his career…”

Paul put a reassuring hand on mine.

“Sierra, I’d really appreciate it if you left the running of my life to me. Can we please change the subject and just enjoy the evening?”

Sierra gave a noncommittal shrug and impaled a piece of asparagus on her fork.

The conversation slowly started up again, and Lee started gushing to Paul about the delicious food, but I had lost my appetite.

---

After the main course, Paul went to the kitchen to get the dessert ready. I excused myself and said I needed some fresh air.

I had been to Del Sol Valley a few times when I was little, visiting my grandparents, but I didn’t remember much about the city itself.

The back of Paul’s mansion was the only thing not surrounded by fences, and the view was both breathtaking and terrifying. Bright lights as far as the eye could see, occasional premature fireworks going off, faint background noise from traffic that never stopped. It felt like we were gilded birds in a cage up here, always on display yet forever out of reach.

I couldn’t imagine anything further from Copperdale and the quiet, snow-covered forests around it.

I wondered if Paul would expect me to move in with him at some point. I didn’t see how he’d be able to work from anywhere else. I could work wherever, but could I live here? Surrounded by fences and cameras and security guards in a huge, empty house?

I pushed the thought away as I heard the clacking of heels behind me.

“Julia, can I talk to you for a moment?”, Sierra asked softly. “I would really like to apologise for what I said earlier. It was never my intention to insult you.”

“I know you didn’t mean it like that, but I still can’t help feeling that you don’t like me very much. Or maybe you just don’t think I’m good enough for Paul?”

Sierra bit her lip.

“I shouldn’t have brought up his exes, especially not in front of you. The thing is, they rarely lasted long enough for the media to catch on – half the time I didn’t even get to meet them before he ended things. So when Paul first told us about you, I got worried. I saw him falling harder and faster than ever before, but you’re so much younger than him and I was struggling to see how it could possibly end well.”

“Right. Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I’m just being honest with you. I tend to be, perhaps, overly protective of Paul. He was even younger than you when we met, we shared a shitty apartment with a few other aspiring actors, all trying to break through. We cheered each other on, audition after audition, practicing lines, commiserating over rejection letters… And then he got the call for Llama Man, and I ended up as an extra in a cop series which later got me the lead in Cop & Llama, but I’ve fought hard to escape that, branch out to other roles, and Paul just… didn’t even try.”

“But he says he prefers the voice acting, though. If you’re his friend, why do you keep pushing him if he’s perfectly happy?”

“Because I’m his friend. Sure, he says he’s happy. Maybe he even believes it. But Paul was always the best of us, and he never took his talent seriously. He’s a great voice actor, but it always felt like he secretly wanted more, he’s just scared. What if he sucked? The media would have a field day, writing about how he should just stick to his cartoons. You’ve seen what they’re like, you just had your first front page. Which, by the way, must be rough. I’m sorry for adding to the stress you must be under right now. Can we maybe start over?”

“Apology accepted, I’m too much of a fangirl to be mad at you anyway. And I’m managing, but I must say, being on the cover of a magazine is a lot less fun than advertised.”

“Trust me, it depends heavily on the kind of magazine. But being hung out to dry by some gossip rag is a rite of passage in this business. You should have seen the frenzy when rumours about me and Dave started circulating. It was wild. I once walked out of an interview because they asked me if the llama costume stayed on during sex!”

“Well? Did it ever?”

Sierra grinned.

“No way – do you have any idea how heavy and warm that costume is? It’s not exactly a sexy superhero muscle suit, it’s a full size mascot.”

“True. Although I’m not sure I’d appreciate it if Paul kept his costume on either.”

We both laughed, and I barely registered the steps behind me before I felt Pauls arms around me, his warm hands covering my eyes.

“Guess who.”

I heard Sierra chuckle. “Actually, Paul, we were kinda busy out here, bonding over the trials of dating men in llama costumes. It’s a very exclusive club.”

“I guess Dave and I have to start our own club then. But right now, I would like to borrow my girlfriend, if you don’t mind.”

“Fine, you can have her back. I’ll just go get myself one of those fruit tarts before Lee and Dave eat them all.” She walked back inside without waiting for a response.

She wouldn’t have gotten one anyway.

---

My head was swimming with champagne and fatigue as I stepped out of my heels, wobbling slightly as my feet got used to the sudden, disorienting flatness of the floor beneath them.

I reached back and pulled the tight dress over my head with some effort.

Paul came out of the bathroom, wrapped his arms around my shoulders and spoke softly in my ear, his breath smelling of toothpaste.

“I was going to ask if you’d mind just going straight to bed but… I could probably be persuaded to stay up a bit longer.”

I turned around to face him. He looked exhausted.

“As tempting as that is, you look pretty much asleep on your feet right now.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’d love to show you what seeing you in that dress all night has done to me, but we should wait. I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.”

I shook my head and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“You could never.”

“Give me enough time and I’m bound to disappoint sooner or later.”

“In bed or in general?”

“Why not both? I’m extremely talented, as you know.”

He was smiling, but there was bitterness behind his words. Sierra’s comments had definitely struck a nerve. I reached the last button and pulled off his shirt.

“Well, there’s only one thing to do then.”

“And what is that?” He looked at me, curious, one eyebrow raised.

I opened his belt, making sure to brush my fingers against the hardening bulge behind his pants.

“We should get it over with. That way you won’t have to worry about it.”

“Get what over with?”

I took advantage of his confusion and gently pushed him back towards the bed.

He let himself fall backwards, his unbuttoned pants sliding down slightly as I climbed on top of him.

I quickly freed him from his boxers while pulling my own underwear to the side. A soft moan escaped him as he entered me.

“Julia, I’m not gonna last…”

“Then don’t.”

I moved my hips faster, the sharp edge of his belt buckle pressing into my thigh. His breath was already becoming short.

“Julia…”

“Come. Disappoint me.”

He let out a strangled groan, his hands gripping my hips forcefully. Then he collapsed and let go, panting, his cheeks flushed.

I rested my head in the curve of his neck, feeling him twitch and slowly soften inside me as his breathing slowed.

“I love you, Julia. So much.”

“I love you too.”

As I drifted off to sleep, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, I could almost make myself forget about the fences and security cameras, all the scary thoughts about the future.

It didn’t matter. There was no place I’d rather be than in his arms.