Cracks in the Concrete

“That was the last of the boxes. Are you sure you’ll be fine by yourself, Julia? We could extend our hotel room and stay in the city for the weekend, if you prefer.”
I looked around. The new furniture still felt unfamiliar and most of my things had just been placed haphazardly on shelves until I got settled.

“Thanks, dad, but I’ll be fine. You know what they say, you’re never truly alone in San Myshuno. You should go home and make sure Kieran and Liam haven’t wrecked the house.”
My mother chuckled.

“She’s right, honey. And we do need to get back as soon as possible in case Hailey goes into labour early.”

“She better wait for us, I didn’t become a paediatrician just to miss the birth of our first grandchild. Alright, we’ll go, but promise you’ll call us if you need anything.”

“I promise, dad. Don’t worry.”

They both hugged me goodbye before my mother pulled my father towards the door.

“Come on, grandpa, Julia is a big girl now, she can handle it from here.”
“Don’t call me grandpa, woman! We’re only fifty!”

“Well, excuse me, sir.”

I could still hear them laughing in the elevator as I shut the door behind them.

Now what?

As I stood there, surrounded by moving boxes and the lingering smell of fresh paint, a mixture of excitement and trepidation coursed through me. This space was all mine now, a place to prove that I could succeed on my own terms.
And I simply had to succeed. My sisters had graduated years ago, Hailey and her husband would have a baby any day now, and Ivy was opening a dance studio in Windenburg. Liam and Kieran were doing great in high school and were definitely both planning to go to university as well.

I was always the odd child. The only one who wasn’t interested in any sports, the only one who wasn’t top of my class in anything. And now I was the only one who wasn’t going to university.
My parents were a little surprised when I announced that I wasn’t going to Britechester as planned and that I wanted to try and make it as a content creator, but they were supportive. I guess they always expected me to be different in this too.

I posted an update to my followers, but felt restless. Maybe I was deluding myself. What if I failed? What if I couldn’t grow my channel, or if I couldn’t even make enough money to pay for food and utilities? I wandered around the apartment aimlessly for a while, putting away a few things while I tried to silence the doubts creeping into my mind.

It was quiet, but not really. I could hear the traffic outside, people talking, and somewhere, someone was playing the violin. There was so much life out there compared to the empty apartment. A sudden need to get out overwhelmed me and I grabbed my jacket.

San Myshuno was so different to Copperdale, bright lights and colours everywhere. Even though it was still early spring, it was less chilly than I was used to up north.

A street vendor was yelling and the most delicious smells came from her stall. Street food hadn’t really been a thing in Copperdale and I was pretty excited to live in a city where I could go out and buy food this close to midnight.
My mother had made sure to stock my kitchen but I decided to celebrate my first night in San Myshuno by treating myself. It was a brand new feeling. Freedom!

I ordered some Bhel Puri. The smell brought me back to dinners at Myra’s house, her dad cooking the most amazing things while her mom helped us with homework.
Back when Myra was still my best friend.
I shrugged off the nostalgia. I was making new friends now, and if Myra didn’t want to talk to me, that was her own decision.

I took a quick selfie with my food and posted it, making a mental note to set up my equipment first thing tomorrow so I could get back to streaming. Most of my university fund had been spent on the apartment and while I did have some money left over, it wouldn’t last forever.
I couldn’t afford to lose momentum.

As I posted one last update before bed, the silence struck me again. No brothers yelling and running up and down the stairs, no parents laughing in the kitchen. I suddenly felt very alone.

I stared into the darkness, refusing to cry. All I heard was the faint buzz of the city outside the heavy brick walls. And then, something else. The violinist was back.

I smiled as I felt myself starting to drift away on the soothing tones. You’re never truly alone in San Myshuno.

I settled into city life surprisingly quickly, especially as I started meeting some of my online friends in real life. Like Samara. We’d known each other online for a while, but hadn’t met in person until I moved to San Myshuno.

We had bonded over sewing. Samara had a channel where she would thrift absolutely terrible clothes and somehow turn them into something fashionable. She wasn’t really into cosplay but she was always up for discussing designs, and she had saved my projects more than once by suggesting a different method or materials. Today, she’d been helping me finish up my Black Shadow costume for GeekCon.
“So how does it look? I mean, I still need the shoes and makeup, obviously.”

“I love it, Julia! Forget the cosplay, you should just wear that coat every day.”

“I’d probably drown in sweat, it’s all PVC. I don’t recommend working with that, it was a nightmare to sew. Although I can’t imagine you come across it a lot in thrift shops.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised at what I find sometimes. But I mostly pick up stuff made from natural fibres like cotton and wool, much easier to change into something wearable. This sweater is an exception, it was a throw blanket when I found it. I wanted to do a matching skirt but I had to scrap half of the blanket due to a… mystery stain.”

“Ew. You’re braver than I am. “

“Fashion requires bravery. But unless you want to wear that coat to lunch, you should go change. My friend Miranda is waiting and she’s dying to meet you.”

A few days later I made my way to GeekCon, feeling excited.
For one weekend every summer, the famous Casbah Gallery was completely transformed and filled with cosplayers, merch stalls, and a plethora of geeks.
I had never been able to attend in person, Copperdale was too far away, and an online pass just wasn’t the same.

The gallery shop, normally selling tickets and art prints, was now filled with comics and collectibles, snacks and toys. It was honestly a little overwhelming.

I decided to start from the beginning and looked at the MySims display. I had quite a few already, but I really wanted Violet. She was a little expensive though.

I went through my budget in my head and decided that she would be my reward when I hit 50,000 subscribers. Then I moved on to the Voidcritters.

Everyone knew Voidcritters, but it always felt a bit too much like a children’s game for me. Still, I did occasionally stream myself playing video games, and it might be nice to throw in something more casual – although few Voidcritter fans had anything resembling a casual relationship with the game.
Either way, it could get me some new viewers.
My train of thought was derailed by a guy next to me clearing his throat.

“Hi… uh, are you Jules? From DesignedByJules?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“I knew I recognised you! Sorry, I’m Marten, I’ve followed you for years -“
He stopped abruptly.

“OK, it sounds super creepy when I say it like that, but I do follow your channel. Do you play Voidcritters? I’ve never seen it on your streams.”
“I’m considering it.”

His eyes lit up.
“Who are you gonna main? Please don’t say Vulpes, newbies always pick Vulpes just because it’s one of the main characters.”
“Actually, I…”
“You should go for the Earth types, everyone thinks Void is special but Earth is actually stronger if you know what you’re doing.”
“Actually, I was considering Wind. I kinda like Meduso.”
Marten wrinkled his nose.

“Wind is kinda finicky though. If you’re starting with a Common critter, you should try Nymphaea.”
He gestured to one of the decals on the wall.

“If Nymphaeas are in danger, they produce these fungal spores that invade animal hosts so they can propagate the species in a safer environment. In episode 19 there was a bunch of Nymphaea that took over a flower shop and started reproducing like crazy and Leif had to free his friends from their hypnotising pollen and relocate them to a remote nature preserve – the Nymphaea, that is, not his friends.”
“I see.”

I started moving through the shop and Marten followed, still talking at breakneck speeds as if determined to impress me. It was actually a little adorable.
“And you know how Vulpes is based on a fox and Suintor is a pig and such? Some of the fans actually believe that Nymphaeas are based on a real thing.”
“Except water lilies usually don’t have hypnotising pollen.”

“No, but what if something did? I saw this discussion on one of the fan forums once where someone claimed to have heard that there was a rare flower on Sixam that did something like that.”

“It sounds a little farfetched to me. I mean, most super powers are just made up, right?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. I guess we’ll never know where they got the idea from, none of the original creators of the show are still alive and there has been no communication with Sixam for decades. Maybe Sixam was never even real. They could have faked it all.”
I thought of the old pictures of a little blue boy in grandpa Eric’s house.

“No, Sixam is definitely real. My great-grandma went there.”
Marten didn’t seem convinced but dropped the subject. When he realised that it was my first time at GeekCon, he appointed himself my official tour guide.
I decided to let him. He was cute in a geeky way, and I missed having a nice boy pay attention to me. I hadn’t dated anyone since my ex Oscar went to uni, and the creepy DMs from random people definitely didn’t count.

The first booth was a promotion for Dusk Glow 2: Moonrise. Marten ignored the two people dressed up as vampires and kept going. Across from the vampires, a booth stood out. No one was tending it, but a small girl was standing alone, listening to her headphones with an owlish expression. A few books were stacked on the mantelpiece. The cover featured a gorgeous couple embracing on a beach.
I stopped and turned excitedly to Marten.

“Marten! Do you realise what this is?”
“Some book series?”
“It’s the latest book in the For Love and Monsters series! It’s really good, full of unhinged vampires and gods and parallel universes and drama – and most importantly, love. I heard the author got into all sorts of legal trouble because her male protagonist is called Vladislaus Straud and the board of Straud Holdings didn’t like that. I was so worried there’d be no more books in the series. You should read it.”

Marten waved a hand dismissively.
“Nah, I think I heard about it, but I mostly read serious fantasy, and this is a bit too much romance for me, you know? I want A Song of Hot and Cold, not Wands of Desire.”
I made a mental note to pick up a copy when Marten wasn’t around. I also decided not to mention that I owned all forty-three books in the Wands of Desire series and had pre-ordered the forty-fourth.
Suddenly, a booming voice rang through the gallery.

“Stop right there, Black Shadow! What devilish scheme have you cooked up this time?”
At the next booth, someone dressed as Llama Man was pointing at me.

“Ah, Llama Man, my arch-nemesis. You always were quick to spoil my fun.”
The man smirked under the mask.
“Typical. I should’ve known you’d try to crash the party.”

I strode towards him, returning the smile.
“Oh, I intend to do more than crash it. What are you going to do about it, alpaca boy?”

“We all know how this ends, Black Shadow! With you behind bars!”

“Is that so? You’d have to catch me first!”
I blew him a kiss, and he smiled broadly and started walking around the table.
I quickly turned and ran.

He sprinted after me as other con-goers turned and stared.

“Fear not, citizens! Llama Man shall not rest until Black Shadow is brought to justice!”
A few people cheered, and I ran to the end wall and turned around.

“Blasted! A dead end! You win this time, Llama Man!”
He came closer, laughing as he pulled off his mask.

“You truly are a villain. Don’t make an old man run like that, I’m not quite in movie shape these days.”

I was shocked for a moment. I thought he was just another cosplayer. Did I just make Paul Romeo himself chase me through the Casbah Gallery?
“You look great, I mean, you look in great shape to me. I mean…”
I blushed helplessly as he sent me a dazzling smile. Then he leaned in and lowered his voice, gently lifting my chin.

“You know, sometimes heroes and villains have more in common than they realise.”

My eyes flickered to his mouth, now so close I could feel his breath on my skin with every word. Silly costume or not, Paul Romeo definitely still had it.
He continued softly. “They are both driven by passion… by the thrill of the chase.”
Then he pulled back, a playful twinkle in his eyes.

“Sadly, it seems fate had other plans for us, Black Shadow, and I don’t want to be another has-been actor who dates women half my age. Besides, I think your companion is getting impatient.”

I had forgotten all about Marten.
He was staring at us, his face unreadable.

Paul gave my hand a brief squeeze.
“Until we meet again, Black Shadow.”

A little while later, Marten and I were sitting in the Casbah Café.
We talked about GeekCon, Voidcritters, Marten’s studies and my streaming career. I carefully avoided the topic of Llama Man.

Marten had relaxed a bit now that Paul Romeo was out of sight but he still insisted on paying for my coffee.

“Thanks for the coffee, by the way. Are you always this generous towards people you just met?”

“I just want your first GeekCon to be special.”

“It has definitely been memorable so far. Now I just need to find out where I need to be for the cosplaying competition later.”

“I’m sorry that I can’t stay for the competition, I need to catch my train back to campus before it gets too late, but… can I have your number? I would really like to see you again.”
He looked so hopeful. And a little vulnerable.

How could I refuse?


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